Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

wishful pre-empts with the following tv shows:

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #31
    Here are some more pre-empts:

    (Dating)
    "The Bachelorette starring Jessica Simpson" will not be seen at this time, in order that we bring you a program even dumber than she is.

    YCDTOTV has been a Lowered Expectation Production.

    Announcer: To me there's no love for these losers... (looks at camera)

    (Know-it-Alls)
    "Ben Stein Vs. Ken Jennings in Nerdapalooza" will not be seen at this time, in its place we present an even stupider program.

    YCDTOTV has been a Too Smart for Their Own Good Production.

    Announcer: If they're too smart for their own good I should've left this show and go to Tahiti.. (looks at camera).

    (Pets)
    "Bob Barker Gets Torn to Shreads by a Pack of Angry Neutered Rotweillers" will not be seen this time, in its place is a show that should be took out of its misery.

    YCDTOTV has been a Have Your Pet Spayed or Neutered Production.

    Cut to announcer being torn to shreads by a pack of angry neutered rotweillers.

    (The Country)
    "The Blue Collar Comedy Tour goes to Calgery" will not be seen at this time in order that we bring you a program that should be out to pasture (Git R Done!)

    YCDTOTV has been a You Might Be A Redneck If... Production.

    Announcer: If you think this show is a hit, You might be a redneck... (looks at camera).

    Tell me what you guys think.

    Comment


    • #32
      [Pharmacy Drugs]
      (Shot of a group of Swiss people appearing to be thrown. "Heidi Suffers An Estrogen Avalanche" appears amongst the thrown people)
      Announcer: "Heidi Suffers An Estrogen Avalanche" will not be seen at this time because Heidi threatened to punch the crew. In its place, we present the following show that may cause drowsiness and destruction of your TV.

      Announcer: "You Can't Do That On Television" has been a Over-The-Counter-And-Into-The-Garbage production. (Cut to announcer) Exactly what I was thinking!

      [The Law and Criminal Courts]
      ("Law And Order" logo with "CSI:" logo underneath with "Night Court" logo underneath.)
      Announcer: "Law And Order: CSI: Night Court" will not be seen at this time in order that we may bring you the following show that should be found guilty on all charges.

      Announcer: "You Can't Do That On Television" has been a Give Him the Death Penalty production. (Cut to announcer) And this show, too.
      Don't feed your cat under the table, feed him on top of the table instead.

      Comment


      • #33
        More Wishful Pre-Empts

        "Justin Timberlake Has Sex With Christina Aguilera" will not be seen at this time. Episode is about "Sex Education". You Can't Do That On Television has been about Boys sitting on Girls laps production.

        "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire Will Not Be Seen, Because Regis Had A Hair Cutting Salon, That Had Snotty Employees". Episode is about "Ratings". You Can't Do That On Television has been about Banning People production.

        "SpongeBob SquarePants Puts On A Magic Show" will not be seen at this time. Episode is about "You Can't Do That". You Can't Do That On SpongeBob has been about Kids Watching TV production.

        "Christine Works At McDonalds" will not be seen at this time. Episode is about "Christine". You Can't Do That On Television Has been weighed over 16 Tons production.

        "Marie Antoinette Farts Out Gas" will not be seen at this time, because she was already Be-Headed. Episode is about "Gross". You Can't Do That On Television has been a Gasser Production.

        "Dancin' Becky In Her Skirt With The Middle Name Of Ann Accidently Kills Kenny From South Park During Midnight" will not be seen at this time. Episode is about "Dancing". You Can't Do That On Television has been an embarrassing moment with these ladies dancin' in their skirts with elephants and tripping over some bananas production.

        "Donna Reed pinches her kids and spanks them will not be seen at this time, because Ritchie Valens wasn't able to tell Donna Reed to not spank her kids." All because of this pesky plane crash that Ritchie Valens had to go through. Episode is about "Child Abuse". You Can't Do That On Television Has Been About The Hood Comes First Production, because parents in the neighborhood were being too violent with their kids.

        "Jimmy Dean cusses on the open Mic will not be seen at this time, because it was to depressing for both Big Bad John and John Lennon to have to die". So Jimmy Dean is sold to a sausage factory making sausage. Episode is about "Depression". You Can't Do That On Television Has Been A Stressful production.

        "Amy Grant Stores Urine In The Bushes" will not be seen at this time. Episode is about "Training". You Can't Do That On Television Has Been About Paul McCourtney singing to Michelle in the wild wilderness production, because it was to difficult in maintaining potty-training for poor little Michelle, around the house.

        "Terrance and Philip Fart on 802nd avenue" will not be seen at this time, because the kids from South Park need a baby sitter. Episode is about "Promises": You Can't Do That On Television has been a broken agreement production.

        Comment


        • #34
          The next two come from Arby's commercials.

          [Quitters]
          Announcer: "Hulk Hogan Goes Bulimic" will not be seen at this time in order that we may bring you the following program you should stop watching.

          Announcer: "You Can't Do That On Television" has been an--- (Cut to Announcer) Oh, who cares? I quit! (Throws papers, then leaves)

          [Award Shows]
          Announcer: "Joan Rivers Without Make-Up, Hair Dye, and Plastic Surgery" will luckily not be seen today. In it's place, we present a show with no awards won at all.

          Announcer: "You Can't Do That On Television" has been nominated for best show no one watches. We hope it wins. (Cut to Announcer) And I meant it.
          Don't feed your cat under the table, feed him on top of the table instead.

          Comment


          • #35
            Another Wishful Pre-Empt with an episode:

            "Famous People" will be seen on You Can't Do That On Television today. Episode is about "Famous people".
            In the episode of "Famous People" will like have:
            Roseanne Conner from the Roseanne Show.
            Bill Cosby
            Spongebob SquarePants
            The Kids From South Park like Kenny, Kyle, Stan Marsh and Eric Cartman
            Christina Aguilera
            Jessica Simpson
            Britney Speers
            Mario from Nintendo
            Bart Simpson and Lisa Simpson
            Rob Base
            Roxanne Shante
            Scooby Doo, Shaggy, Daffney and their family

            In the sket will have:
            Roseanne getting slimed and watered.
            Bill Cosby gets slimed and laughs about it.
            Christina Aguilera gets slimed.
            Spongebob SquarePants gets slimed.
            Kenny gets 16-Tons dropped on his head, So the kids from South Park say, "Oh My God, They Killed Kenny!"
            Kyle and Stan get slimed and watered.
            Eric Cartman also gets 16-Tons dropped on his head, because the kids from South Park thought that Eric Cartman was chubby.
            Les Lye (Ross) says boy I sure do miss Christine!, I guess Christina Aguilera will have to do.
            Christina Aguilera and Mario from Nintendo talked to each other to get to know each other better. Mario from Nintendo asks Christina Aguilera her age, and Christina Aguilera says, "I'm not telling anybody my age, but I will tell you my middle name." Mario from Nintendo asks Christina Aguilera her middle name, and she says that her middle name is Maria.
            Christina Aguilera also talks to Mario from Nintendo, and asks Mario about how many question marks have you broken in the past? Mario says, "I Don't Know, I haven't count them in the past." Mario from Nintendo gets slimed, and then Mario says, "Oh Christina Maria Aguilera!" Christina Aguilera asks Mario from Nintendo, what do you want now? Oh!, I meant to say, "Oh Maria!", because thats what I say, whenever I mess up on a game, but I happened to get slimed, so I said, "Oh Christina Maria Aguilera!" Christina Aguilera says, "Well Mario, I hope your not mad at me, I just wanted to try out some of your games on the nintendo." Mario says well I was mad at you for a second, because of the green slime, but I forgive you now.
            It also has a sket about Christina Aguilera about what it's like to be a kid, and Christina Aguilera is with her parents. The parents in this sketch happen to be snakes, and it's about Christina Aguilera being raised by snakes. So when Christina Aguilera talks to her parents, the parents make the Sssss sound, like the snakes would, mainly because her parents are snakes in this sketch. Christina Aguilera is the human though. So the screen is going to have to display the words on the bottom, because the snakes can only make the Ssssss sound. Christina Aguilera talks to her parents (the snakes), and has a conversation with them. Only Christina Aguilera can understand the Sssss's from the snakes, that they are saying. That's why the words on the bottom of the screen have to be displayed, so that other people watching the show could understand. Christina Aguilera in this sketch also asks her parents (the snakes), if Christina Aguilera could go out on a date with her boyfriend. The parents (the snakes) make the Ssss sound to Christina Aguilera, that means no. Christina Aguilera asks her parents (the snakes), about why not?. The snakes make the Sssss sounds meaning, "Because you are grounded, now go to your room!" Christina Aguilera crys in tears, and then walks to her room.
            In the sketch also is going to have Roseanne Conner being in a room, of where there is a cassette recorder (the boom box), with a microphone and a sign saying that "Ann cannot record!" So Roseanne Conner grabs the microphone and trys to press the record button on the cassette recorder. So the cassette recorder spits out water into Roseanne's eyes surprisingly, and then the record button goes back up and stops recording. Roseanne says, "What kind of a boom box is this?" Roxanne Shante walks on by and says, "Well I tried rapping on the mic, but it did the same thing to me." Rob Base walks along and says, "Can't you read the sign?, It says that Ann cannot record!" Rob Base also says, "So that boom box thinks, that you are in Ann. So the names Roseanne and Roxanne, both have the name Ann, in their names. So therefore, you both cannot record!" Rob Base then tries out the mic and the boom box, and presses down on the record button. Rob Base then gets to happily rap on the mic and record on the boom box.
            In another sket has Christina Aguilera and her dogs as being rottweilers. Shaggy and Scooby Doo take a walk. All of a sudden Christina Aguilera lets the rottweilers out, and then surprisingly Scooby Doo is getting bit and attacked by the rottweilers. Shaggy tries to rescue Scooby Doo. Christina Aguilera then tells her rottweilers, to get back here, you bad dogs! Scooby Doo is okay, but with a scar on his neck. Shaggy and Scooby Doo, then walk on. Shaggy and Scooby Doo then see the rest of their family members by the van (the mystery machine). Shaggy then explains that poor Scooby Doo was attacked by some rottweilers. Daffney says, "Oh no!, you must be kidding." Shaggy says this is for real. Daffney then says, "Let me take a look at Scooby Doo." Daffney then says, "Yeah there is a scar on Scooby Doo's neck, lets call the police and report this to the lady, that had those rotten rottweilers." Daffney asks, "Do you know the address to this place?" Shaggy says it was just up the street; when we were walking. Daffney tells Shaggy and the man in the white shirt with blond hair (whatever his name was) about, "Why don't you and shaggy walk by that house and get the address to that house." So then they call the police about, "Scooby Doo getting bit by rottweilers, and report it to that lady, that had rotten rottweilers." So then the police says, "Well okay, I will send down the dog catcher to get those two rotten rottweilers." The dog catcher happens to be Barth. And then Barth catches the two rotten rottweilers.
            In another sket has Christina Aguilera, Shaggy, and Scooby Doo eating at Barth's Burgery. They all eat a hamburger that Barth prepared. They all say, these hamburgers taste more like hot dogs. They all say, "These hamburgers that all taste like hot dogs are delicious and spicey." Barth says, "I meant to call these hamburgers Rottweiler Wild Dogs!" Barth says, "I was finally able to make decent hamburgers or hot dogs, or whatever you want to call them, because those are rottweilers that I caught the other day, so I cooked up some rottweilers. Those are rottweilers, that you are eating." Shaggy and Scooby Doo say, "These are sure yummy!" Christina Aguilera crys into tears and says, "Oh no!, my poor dogs!" Shaggy says, "Wow!, we are eating Christina Aguilera's dogs that just bit Scooby Doo, the other day." Barth says, "Dah!, I heard that! Surprise in the hamburgers or hotdogs!"
            In another sket has that same old boom box with the sign saying that, "Ann cannot record!" has Britney Speers pressing the record button and starts singing on the mic. Britney Speers accidently farts, and then Britney Speers says, "Oh no!, I want to re-record this." So Britney Speers presses stop, on the boom box, and then it starts playing a Beatles song having Paul McCartney saying, "Britney Speers you are so cute! But I am still missing my cute girl friend, named Michelle." So the boom box starts playing the song Michelle by the Beatles. Britney Speers says, "Oh think goodness it did not record me farting." The boom box on the other hand starts having the Beatles with Paul McCartney saying, "And on the other hand here is a mix of Britney Speers farting on the mic that me and Cameron Paul Remixed." The boom box starts playing Britney Speers farts. Britney Speers gets embarrassed and says, "Oh no!, not me!"
            Another Sket that has that same old boom box again with the sign saying, "Ann cannot record!" Jessica Simpson grabs the mic and presses record on the boom box. This time the boom box breaks and quits working. Green Slime starts to spit into Jessica Simpsons face. Christina Aguilera walks on by and says, "Now look what you've done, you broke this boom box, that was purchased from Radio Shack! I was going to record on that boom box, but now I won't get to use it, because it's broken!"
            And any other sketches you could add to this episode.
            You Can't Do That On Television has been about true stories from famous people productions. Finally a decent show!

            Comment


            • #36
              [Retro]
              (The "I Love the 80s" logo in black and white with "30s" instead of "80s".)
              Announcer: "I Love the 30's" will not be seen at this time because we couldn't think of enough things that happened in the 30's. In its place, we present the following show that feels like it's been on for years.

              Announcer: "You Can't Do That On Television" has been a CJOH Shoestring production. (Cut to Announcer.) I thought I already said that years ago. What, are we recycling lines for me now?

              [Practical Jokes]
              (The "YCDTOTV" logo.)
              Announcer: "You Can't Do That on Television" will not be seen at this time. (Pause) Gotcha! We now present "You Can't Do That On Television". You're all gullible.

              Announcer: "You Can't Do That on Television" has been a Joke's on You production. (Cut to Announcer.) Yeah, I'm not the announcer. (Takes off his mask to reveal... Christine!)
              Christine: I'm Moose! Gotcha!

              You like that?
              Don't feed your cat under the table, feed him on top of the table instead.

              Comment


              • #37
                Here are a few more.

                [Do-It-Yourself Projects]
                (The Three Stooges with nails in their hands and boards on each other.)
                Announcer: "Home Improvement" starring The Three Stooges will not be seen at this time in order that we may bring you the following show that was built very badly.

                Announcer: "You Can't Do That On Television" has been a Hand-Built production. (Cut to Announcer.) Yeah, hand-built by babies!

                [Phone Calls]
                (The Verizon Wireless man shouting into his cell phone.)
                Announcer: "The Verizon Wireless Man Finally Gets out of Range" will not be seen at this time because he still can't get out of range. In its place, we present the following show that should be disconnected.

                Announcer: "You Can't Do That On Television" has been a Busy Signal production. (Cut to Announcer.) Because the show is hogging up my life!
                Don't feed your cat under the table, feed him on top of the table instead.

                Comment


                • #38
                  I'll keep on posting these until you tell me not to.

                  [Public Television]
                  (Shot of Ken Burns with "A Ken Burns Film" superimposed.)
                  Announcer: "Ken Burns: A Ken Burns Film" will not be seen at this time in order that we may bring you the following show that's more worse than a pledge drive.

                  Announcer: "You Can't Do That On Television" has been produced in association with PBS, the Public Boredom System.

                  [Toys and Games]
                  (Shot of Monopoly games.)
                  Announcer: "The Testing of Monopoly: the Monopoly Edition" will not be seen at this time in order that we may bring you the following show that should go to jail, go directly to jail, should not pass Go, and should not collect $200.

                  Announcer: "You Can't Do That On Television" has been a Game Over production. (Cut to Announcer.) Possibly for this show.
                  Don't feed your cat under the table, feed him on top of the table instead.

                  Comment


                  • #39
                    I'll keep doing these till you say stop.

                    Two more, everbody.

                    [Cars]
                    ("Overhaulin' host Chris Jacobs laying underneath a car.)
                    Announcer: "Chris Jacobs Got Run Over by A Mustang" will not be seen at this time because the police are still wondering what the license plate number is. In its place, we present a show with people who should be in a car crash.

                    Announcer: "You Can't Do That on Television" has been a Roadkill production. (Cut to Announcer.) That describes the cast, right? Me? How? (To camera) Cut to something else.

                    [Americana]
                    (People laughing at baseball players falling down.)
                    Announcer: "The Greatest Groin Hits of the World Series" will not be seen at this time in order that we may bring you the following program that should be banned in America.

                    Announcer: "You Can't Do That On Television" is proudly made in Canada. Don't ask. (Cut to Announcer.) Why? (A pie hits him.) Silly me. I said "Don't ask" and I asked!
                    Don't feed your cat under the table, feed him on top of the table instead.

                    Comment


                    • #40
                      You like these pre-empts, right?

                      I'm keeping them coming, folks.

                      [Thanksgiving]
                      (Large Parade Balloons attacking people.)
                      Announcer: "When the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade Attacks!" will not be seen at this time in order that we may bring you the following turkey of a program.

                      Announcer (A little drowsy): "You Can't Do That On Television" has been a I Feel Sleepy production. (Cut to Announcer.) I need some sleep. (Falls asleep.)

                      And here's another ROCKTRAX you may have forgotten.

                      [Racing]
                      (Phil Keoghan in a soapbox car.)
                      Announcer: "The Not-So Amazing Race" will not be seen at this time in order that we may bring you the following race to the finish.

                      Announcer: "You Can't Do That on Television" has been a Black Flag production. (Cut to announcer, who is waving a white flag.) Whoops, wrong flag. (Puts flag down, then holds up a black flag.) There we go.
                      Don't feed your cat under the table, feed him on top of the table instead.

                      Comment


                      • #41
                        More Pre-Empts:

                        "Justin Timberlake Accidently Hits Janet Jackson On The Head With The Baseball Bat" Will not be seen at this time. Episode is about "Accidents".
                        You Can't Do That On Television Has Been Nothing But Fighting Against Each Other production. Can't these people think better, whether than fighting against each other?

                        "Aaliyah Falls In Love With Ritchie Valens" Will not be seen at this time, because they're both in heaven trying to make love. Episode is about "Pilot".
                        You Can't Do That On Television Has Been About Airplanes crashing too much production.

                        "Suzanne Vega" will be seen on You Can't Do That On Television, because we can't get Suzanne Vega to shut up. So to make the show more entertaining we added Lisa Ruddy and Bart Simpson's sister, Lisa Simpson to do a lot of talking, for this show. Episode is about "Entertainment".
                        Do I Hear Suzanne Vega Humming and Singing her Tom's Diner Song, At Barth's Burgery Place? Well You Can't Do That On Television Has Been An Entertaining Time With Suzanne Vega Singing And Lisa Simpson Playing Along With Her Saxaphone production.

                        "Salt-N-Pepa Keep Rapping The Same Old Song Of Push-It Over And Over Again" Will not be seen at this time, because we have a re-run to show. Episode is About "Re-Runs". You Can't Do That On Television Has Been About The Same Old Thing Production.

                        "Shannon Let's The Music Play, Sound Really Dookie" Will Not Be Seen At This Time, because Shannon is practicing a song for Saint Patrick's Day. Episode is About "Saint Patricks Day". You Can't Do That On Television Has Been About Leprachons Taking A Doo-Doo, in the Toilet Production.

                        "The Lennon Sisters Meet Up With Dorothy, From Wizard Of Oz" Will not be seen at this time, because Dianne from the Lennon Sisters, is beginning to become a wicked witch. Episode is about "Halloween". You Can't Do That On Television Has Been About Evil Tricks Instead Of Those Nice Treats Production.

                        "Lisa Simpson Participates In A Band Class With Lisa Ruddy" Will not be seen at this time, because Bart Simpson is in trouble with the teacher. So we will show you Bart Simpson writing out punishment sentences on the chalk board. Episode is About "Punishments".
                        Skits:
                        Bart Simpson teases Jamie Burns. Mr. Shidtler makes Bart Simpson write down, "I will not tease Jamie." over and over again on the chalk board. Bart Simpson laughs with Jamie Burns. Mr. Shidtler makes Bart Simpson wear a dunscap. Bart Simpson also teases a student named Terri, by saying T,T,T,T,T,T,T,T,T,T Terri. Bart Simpson again gets punished by Mr. Shidtler about teasing Terri, and has to do punishment sentences again on the chalk board saying, "I will not tease Terri."
                        You Can't Do That On Television Has Been About Musical Chairs Out Of Control Production.

                        "Michelle Branch Turns Into A Snake, On A Tree Branch", will not be seen at this time. Episode is About "Re-Incarnations". You Can't Do That On Television Has Been About Flies being Yucky and Flying Around Production.

                        "Satan teaches Astrology" will not be seen at this time. In its place we have madam Lisa Ruddy do Astrology, instead. Episode is About "Astrology".
                        You Can't Do That On Television Has Been About Jessica Simpson getting into the future with Michelle Branch production.

                        "The Angels Are Missing" will not be seen at this time. In its place we have Angie The Talking Doll participating as being an angel. Episode is About "Angels".
                        Skit:
                        Angela Coddett plays the part of being the angel.
                        You Can't Do That On Television Has Been About Worshiping Angels Production.

                        Comment


                        • #42
                          My revenge at Blaize: THREE more pre-empts!

                          [Impossible Things]
                          (A monkey in a chef's hat.)
                          Announcer: "The Monkey Chef" will not be seen at this time in order that we may bring you the following show that even the creators thought was impossible to create.

                          Announcer: "You Can't Do That On Television" has been a Impossible to Watch production. (Cut to Announcer.) And impossible to work at.

                          [New Year's Eve]
                          (Dick Clark with a Chinese hat on his head.)
                          Announcer: "Dick Clark's Rockin' Chinese New Year's Eve" will not be seen at this time. In its place we present the following show where people act like they're at New Year's Eve party and drank too much champagne.

                          Announcer: "You Can't Do That On Television" has been a Broken Resolution production. (Cut to Announcer.) My resolution was to quit this show.

                          [Camp]
                          (The "Camp Lazlo" cast on a wrecking ball.)

                          Announcer: "Camp Lazlo Sold to Time-Share Developers" will not be seen at this time in order that we may bring you the following show that make you feel like you want to go home.

                          Announcer: "You Can't Do That On Televsion" has been a Care Package production. (Cut to Announcer.) They should call it a I Don't Care Package.
                          Don't feed your cat under the table, feed him on top of the table instead.

                          Comment


                          • #43
                            (Toys)
                            The transformers get sold for scrap metal will not be seen so we can present the following show which should have been scrapped a long time ago
                            You cant do that on television has been a Batteries not included production

                            (Hair)
                            Lex Luthor shaves superman bald will not be seen. In its place, a show which makes parents tear their own hair out
                            YCDTOTV has been a Bad Hair Day production

                            (Current Events)
                            President Bush vs Osama Bin Laden in a steel cage match will not be seen so we can prsent to you the following crisis of a show
                            YCDTOTV has been a slow news day production

                            (Language)
                            Ozzy Osbourne stops swearing will not be seen due to the fact that it'll never happen. In its place, a show which should be considered a dirty word
                            YCDTOTV has been a washed out with soap production

                            Comment


                            • #44
                              (Delays)
                              the cast of "Saved by the Bell" won't be show today because they arrived after the bell. In its place we present the following program with cast members who arrived just in time

                              Comment


                              • #45
                                (police/cops)
                                Starsky & Hutch dressed in NYPD Blue fashion and going to a donuts cafe at Miami Vice with the CHiP's will won't be seen tonight, in its place we'll present the following police kids drama. (image featuring the donuts cafe set in Miami with Starksy & Hutch, Crocket & Tubbs from Miami Vice and Larry & Puncherello from CHiP's)

                                YCDTOTV had been a good cop, bad cop production.

                                Comment

                                Working...
                                X