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Thread: Barth's Burger/Firing Squad Sketch

  1. #1
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    Default Barth's Burger/Firing Squad Sketch

    Since there's no topic on any of my 2 favorite sketches, This will be the perfect place for it. See if you can come up with a few. I'm starting with the Firing Squad.

    El Capitan(shines up his sword before giving out the orders): Ready, Aim....

    Kevin: Wait a minute. Wait a minute. STOP THE EXECUTION!!!

    El Capitan: What is it this time?

    Kevin: What am I being shot for now?

    El Capitan: You are being shot because you did not return your rented DVDs on time and you refused to pay the late fee.

    Kevin: That's ridiculous. I already returned the movie and paid the late fee. (takes out his receipt fom his pants pocket and shows it to El Capitan) Here, take a look

    El Capitan (Takes the receipt): Okay let me have a look. (while he was reading, he stood in front of Kevin) Hmmm, You were right. It says here that you did pay the lae fee on time and you returned a movie that was on DVD entitled Man of FIRE.

    (Guns fired at El Capitan)

    Kevin: Does that mean I can go now?

    El Capitan (groaning in pain): Si. Si. You May go now. Ohhhh.

    (El Capitan fainted to the ground. Kevin kneels to the ground, picks up the receipt and walks off)

  2. #2
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    Default

    correction: I meant Man on Fire not Man of fire with Denzel Washington

  3. #3
    Coin Slot Cleaner Blip's Arkaid
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    Default So hilarious!

    Loved that. Reminded me of the old Johnny Cash song skit, "Ring Out Fire."

    Got any skits with Blip's Arkaid? Especially with the comebacks of classic 1980's video games on websites galore like at www.neave.com

    Matt

  4. #4
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    Default Barth's Burger Sketch (Kurt Angle from WWF/WWE)

    Barth's Burgers

    Alex(girl. Age10 Asia) and Kelly (boy, age 11. red-head) sitting at the table eating their 'Burgers'.

    Alex: Hey Barth

    Barth: Yeah. What is it, Alex?

    Alex: Do any athletes ever eat here?

    Barth: Well come to think of it, there's this one Olympic Gold Medalist named Kurt Angle who eats here.

    Kelly: That's pretty cool. Does he still eat here?

    Barth: Not amymore. Ya see, when he explained to me how bad my food was he was gonna sue me. So I told him that I would make him a Hero Sandwich named after him.

    Alex: Gosh. How come we never see him?

    Kelly: Alex. Remember when barth said he made Kurt Angle a Hero Sandwich? (lifts the bun)WHO DO YOU THINK'S IN THE BURGER??

    Barth: Dah I heard that (He is now wearing Kurt Angle's Gold Medal). And It's True. It's Darn True.[/i]

  5. #5

    Default

    el captaino:ready!aim!fi...
    rocky[me]:wait,wait!stop the excution!
    el captiono:now what is it?
    rocky:i want to take a picture of us on my psp![brings out psp]
    el capitonoh,you have a psp,huh?
    rocky:yeah,it also has lumines.[gives it to him]
    el captionoh.this is fun.
    rocky:and it also has musc.i'm listing to green day.[american idoit plays]
    el captionoh,they're a good band.
    rocky[escaping]:well,you go play.i also have umds of napolean dynamite and pirates of the cariban if you wanna wacth.gotta go![walks away]
    el captiono[still playing]h that's one sneaky k...oh,level two!

  6. #6
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    Default Firing Squad (Fantastic 4 Style)

    I thought I use this topic because it involves The Human Torch.

    El Capitan: Ready, Aim...

    Johnny Storm: WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT A MINUTE. Stop the execution.

    El Capitan: What is it this time?

    Johnny Storm: You can't shoot me.

    El Capitan: Why not? We must shoot you. El Presidente's orders were to capture one of the members of the Fantastic Four and execute him or her.

    Johnny Storm: That's true. But if you shoot me now, my flames will melt the bullets and I wouldn't be harmed. Why else would they call me The Human Torch?

    El Capitan: Good Point, kid. Good Point. You can go now.

    Johnny Storm: Really?

    El Capitan: Yes, Yes. Vamos!

    Johnny Storm: Alright then. FLAME ON! (Johnny's body was turned into flames) I'm Outta here.

    (Johnny flew into the sky as El Capitan looks up not noticing that he was in the Firing Range)

    El Capitan: I don't believe it. His body is engulped in FIRE.

    (They started shooting at El Capitan and he was groaning in pain)

    El Capitan: Oooh. That was one...Sneaky....Kid! (He fell to the ground)

  7. #7
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    Default Barth's Sketch: John Bradshaw Layfield (JBL) ate there

    First of all, Glad to see the YCDTOTV site up and running. This one is based on JBL (the so-called Wrestling God) from the WWE (for those who watch wrestling's WWE Smackdown)

    for info on them:

    JBL: http://www.wwe.com/superstars/smackdown/jbl/
    Orlando Jordan: http://www.wwe.com/superstars/smackdown/orlandojordan/

    Jennifer: Afro-american female; Age: 9
    Gary:causasian Male; Age:12; blonde hair
    Barth

    Jennifer and Gary were sitting at the table together eating their burgers and drinking their sodas

    Jennifer: Gary. Doesn't Barth make any real food?

    Gary: You know what? He did once.

    Jennifer: Really?

    Gary: Yeah. At one time, there was this guy name JBL, John Bradshaw Layfield and his Chief of Staff Orlando Jordan ordered 2 Barthy Burgers and has not been here since.

    Jennifer: 2 Barthy Burgers?

    Gary: Yep. It turned out that they left in such a hurry to the men's room only to find out that they were suffering the effects of the burgers that had Mad Cow Disease.

    Jennifer and Gary Both laughed.

    Barth (Pops out from the counter wearing a white cowboy hat): Dah I heard Dat. By the way, Oprah made a complaint about that too.



    If you think that's funny, my next one will be too.

  8. #8
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    Default Barth's Moose Burgers.

    Barth's Burgers.

    Alex (girl; age:10 Asian-canadian)
    Kevin (boy. Age: 12, caucasian, long hair just like Kevin Kubusheskie)

    Alex, Kevin, and two other kids were eating their burgers.

    Alex: Hey, Barth

    Barth: Dah Yeah, Alex?

    Alex: This burger taste different today. It's a lot better that the one you usually cooked.

    Barth: I'm glad you enjoyed it. It's a special burger made out of the fresh meat.

    Kevin: Oh no. I'm afraid to ask, but what kind of burger did you make this time?

    Barth: Dah I called it the Moose Burger

    Kevin (To alex): It figures. He must've ran over a dead moose while he was driving again.

    Barth: DAH I HEARD DAT. Unfortunately therr weren't any mooses around so I used the next best thing. You heard of Christine "Moose" McGlade, Right?

    Kevin: yeah I do, Barth I use to know her (Paused) Oh no. You mean

    Barth: Yep. Since Christine is no longer in the show, why else would I call it a "MOOSE" Burger?

    Realizing that the kids were actually eating Christine "Moose" McGlade, they leaned over the wall and vomited onto the floor. Barth grabs the coking pot.


    The next one is the Firing Squad involving a cellphone.

  9. #9

    Default

    here's a teacher joke
    mr.schintlerkay,today we're talking about...
    ruben[13,asian]:mr.schintler?
    mr.schitler:what is it sabrre?
    kurt[14,mexican]:what we wanted to say is that david's too young to be here.
    ruben:he's three years younger then us!
    david[10,white]:it's because i'm smarter then you guys!
    both:that's crazy!
    mr.scntler:he has a point.sabrre,F!lucas,F!vitrols,A+!
    kurt:it's not my fault i don't know what 2+2 equals..[slime falls on him.]

  10. #10
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    Default Cellphone

    BTW, funny Teacher/school skit. I may wanna add dungeon skits and school skit too.

    El Capitan shines his sword while Kevin is standing in front of the post

    El Capitan: Ready, Aim... (Pauses as he notices Kevin's Cellphone) Kevin, what is this?

    Kevin (taking out his cellphone on his belt strap): This? It's my cellphone. I'm expecting a call from one of my friends before I'm shot.

    El Capitan: Oh I see. Your last phone call? What do you think about that, Amigos?

    Amigos: Si! Si!

    El Capitan: Alright then. No more interruptions. READY. AIM.... (before he said fire, Kevin's phone rang with a t-Mobile Tune)

    Kevin (Talking on the phone): Hello....hello....Now? Oh alright then. I'm heading home. (hangs up) Sorry I gotta go. My mom wants me home to dinner.

    El Capitan: Oh alright, alright. I don't want you to miss supper. Vamos.

    Kevin walks off-screen.

    El Capitan: Heh missing dinner (thinks) Wait a minute. Dinner? He already ate since yesterday as a last meal. Ohh That is One Sneaky Kid.

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