INT. - LIBRARY BACKROOM - NIGHT


Mikey and Alasdair are entering a room that looks like a mix of the dungeon and the library. There are books everywhere but a large circle in the middle with strange symbols and artifacts on the ground. Alasdair lights up immediately while Mikey is beside himself with wonder, which slowly dissipates over a brief period of time.


ALASDAIR: Look, Mikey! We found it!


MIKEY: We found something all right. Another set that hasn't been used in twenty years.


ALASDAIR: No. This is the Archives room. This is where all the old stuff is stored.


MIKEY: All the old stuff?


ALASDAIR: Yeah, like... old props, old stage equipment that went out of use... oh, look. A slime tank.


Mikey and Alasdair look at the tank. The meter reads that it's full.


ALASDAIR (CONT'D): After all these years... look. The tank is still full.


Mikey starts to think, but what he thinks of stops his train of thought.


MIKEY: Hold on a second. There is still slime around here, right? So, there has to be someone or something that is making this slime.


ALASDAIR (after a pause): Yeah, that makes sense.


MIKEY: So what if, and go with me on this, that person has been around this set for the entire time? I mean, someone would have to with you, Nikki, and Lisa being here all along. What if he left us here to... you know... be slaves to the show?


Alasdair looks a little upset at this.


ALASDAIR: Look, Mikey, I want to leave just as well as you do. But, we shouldn't be looking at a slime tank if what we're looking for is somewhere else.


MIKEY: And what about the... caretaker of this place? Maybe we should look for him.


Alasdair starts to get frustrated.


ALASDAIR: Mikey, I've been around this set for a very long time. There was no caretaker then. If there is, he could be anywhere in this place.


Mikey gets closer to Alasdair to the point that they are almost chest to chest.


MIKEY: And what exactly do you propose, Alasdair? We have no phone around here because of budget cuts. So that leaves... screaming our heads off? Make smoke signals? Hold a seance?


ALASDAIR: Well, how would you find this caretaker?


MIKEY: I don't know.


ALASDAIR: I don't know either.


Mikey and Alasdair lock eyes as both of them are slimed again. There's a slight amount of sorrow in Alasdair's eyes, knowing that he never cautioned Mikey about the three slimes rule. Mikey can't believe that he was caught in that line again. Alasdair looks at Mikey with a calm serenity.


ALASDAIR: Hey, Mikey.


Mikey looks wide-eyed through the dripping slime to look right at Alasdair.


MIKEY: Yes, Alasdair?


ALASDAIR: Let me be the first to welcome you to your new home.


INT. - LINK SET - DAY


Mikey is sitting on the link set, happy with what is to come. Lisa and Alasdair are sitting beside Mikey as he speaks.


MIKEY: Well, that about wraps up our show on new things. And, well, from being on this set, I've learned a lot. Having everyone here has taught me that maybe new things aren't so bad. Like, moving. Sure, you might not want to move, but there's always the chance that something great can come out of it.


LISA: Mikey, don't you realize that you're stuck here forever? Just like us? Those are the rules. There is no more new for you.


ALASDAIR: Yeah. And, well... I'm really sorry that you have to be stuck here with us.


MIKEY: Hey, guys. I might not want to be stuck on this set forever like you, but maybe it isn't so bad to be stuck on this set... with you.


This makes Lisa and Alasdair smile. Boss comes up to the link set, all business.


BOSS: Now, Mikey, I know that you're new to this, so I'm going to give you a little piece of advice.


MIKEY: What's that, Boss?


BOSS: Never question the Boss.


Mikey looks unimpressed.


MIKEY: Are you just going to try and repeat the rules all over again?


BOSS: What do you expect? There's no new scripts for any of you.


MIKEY: Well, then, I'm glad I did my research because there is one way of stopping you from starting a new experiment in mindless monologues.


BOSS: Yeah? Prove it.


Mikey smiles a bit, holding the hands of Lisa and Alasdair.


MIKEY (shouting): Roll the closing credits!


The end credits start to roll. Boss starts to speak into his headset hoping to make it stop. Lisa, Alasdair, and Mikey all take off while the end credits roll. A slideshow of some shots from the current episode are shown in the background.


ANNOUNCER (V. O.): You Can't Do That On Television has been a Father Time Production.


INT. - ANNOUNCER'S BOOTH - DUSK


The announcer is seen at the microphone with a lighted box in the back flashing "On Air".


ANNOUNCER: Father Time? With as long as I've been stuck in this booth, it's about time I got to do something useful. I get tired of being just another useless supporting cast member.


The announcer looks into the camera, realizes he's still on the air, and looks embarrassed.


INT. - BOYS CAMPGROUND BARRACKS - NIGHT


Alasdair and Mikey walk in after a long day of taping. Both Mikey and Alasdair are exhausted from all the hard work they've done today. Oddly, the barracks only has one bed to sleep on.


ALASDAIR: Well, Mikey. This is it. Your first night on set. How do you feel?


MIKEY: I guess I'm going to have to get used to it now.


ALASDAIR: That's right. It's just another change. You'll get used to it.


Alasdair looks around in confusion.


ALASDAIR: Wait a minute. There should be two beds here. Like bunk beds.


MIKEY: You were the only cast member left, Alasdair. It's no surprise they took the other one. Let's just go to sleep. I'm so tired I could sleep like a baby.


Alasdair shrugs slightly and tucks in behind Mikey. Mikey, feeling like a little baby and scared of the new environment, starts thumb sucking.


ALASDAIR: Uh, Mikey?


MIKEY: What, Alasdair? Need to use the bathroom?


ALASDAIR: No. It's just... that's my thumb you're sucking.


Mikey lies there with a puzzled look on his face.


MIKEY: I was wondering why it tasted different. (pause) It's delicious.


FADE OUT