Best "I Don't Know"

[ugotslimed]

Apart from Christine-who had the best "I don't know" on the show? All of hers were great, but my second favorite "I don't know" was the Jim sliming in the dungeon that we were discussing. Something about the way he says it is so helpless and despondent. He KNOWS he's going to get slimed.
I guess that raises another question-are the "I don't knows" better when the character knows they are going to get slimed but have to say it anyway, or when they accidentally say it and don't realize whats happening until the slime actually hiut their head?

[ChrisInMI]

Not a sliming, but that brings to mind Vanessa's drenching in the "Nature" episode in 1983, in which the teacher tells her she has to either tell him what the last element of nature is or say she doesn't know, and Vanessa, realizing she'll get something dumped on her either way, decides to go with the "lesser of two evils" (or at least the one that will be easier to clean up). The way she says "Okay, water," is just like Jim's "I don't know" that you described.

Also that reminds me of Moose's sliming in the "Movies" episode - notice how when she's first reading the text for the "introduction" in her screen test, she's unnaturally chipper and cheerful, until she sees the last three words in the text... and then when she learns she has to either read the text as is or fail her screen test and realizes what's going to happen to her as a result, she's not so chipper and cheerful anymore. "Don't ask me what it's about..." (pauses for a second and then gets this "Let's just get this over with" look on her face)... "because I don't know."

Christine also had a lot of those slimings where it seemed like she didn't know what was happening until the slime hit her - and those were funny because those were typically her best slime reactions, with the audible gasps/shrieks etc.

Aside from Moose, I think Jennifer Brackenbury had some good slime moments too. Probably the best is her sliming in "Excess" where, after Christian gets slimed, she starts jabbering excitedly about how the slime always remembers - "I don't know how, but it always does! It re..." ... Right after she says the magic words, Christian starts grinning through the slime on his face, but Jennifer's totally unprepared for it until the slime hits her. Classic.

[ugotslimed]

that "slime always remembers" line is interesting, because it makes the slime sound like a sentient life form. Like it has a mind of its own and loves dumping down on kids. Does anyone remember another instance of the slime being talked about as if it was a character on the show? Sometimes in the old days they would refer to the mysterious "dumpers" as "they"-you know like "-and then THEY dump it all over me" from the Television episode, but in the instance of "IT always remembers" the slime becomes a living thing.

[mcguinnfan]

Chris, I really agree with your choices. In fact, the first thing I thought about when I read the original post was that very scene with Vanessa that you mentioned, and I'm glad you went ahead with it even if it wasn't an actual sliming, because it's a great moment where the cast member had her back put against a wall and was forced to say something that she knew would not end well. The same goes for Christine in Movies. Those are probably my favorite kind of sliming scenes also, where the person is basically forced to say it.

I like the ones also where people try to get around it, get tricked into it, or get it through a misunderstanding or a stretching of the point. There's the one in Future World where Christine is sure she's figured out a way to beat the system, and to display her cleverness, urges Lisa to ask her a tough question, and triumphantly chirps "Insufficient data!"-only to get slimed anyway. What's really funny about that is that she then yells, "Wait, that's only supposed to happen when I say I don't know!"-then, looking straight up with an enraged expression, screams at the top of her voice "I DON'T KNOW!" It's only then that Lisa informs her that the green slime is now triggered via computer.

There were a number of funny waterings that were done in a similar way, such as the "What're you talking about?" bit in Media, the "Oh, no you don't"/"Eau is the French word for..." business in Hobbies, and the "Blood is thicker than Kool-Aid" joke in Friends. My favorite of all these is probably the "Ush kush pengo deng"/"foreign-language joke" sketch involving Christine and Alasdair in Foreign Countries. (There's something about the way Christine delivers the setup line "Pish tosh tabakanooz!" in that sketch that I've always loved; it's so exultant and exotic-sounding all at once, and her excitement about tricking Alasdair is so palpable that she's almost trembling with delight.)

Since I know this is supposed to be about slime, and I've gotten sidetracked by water, a couple other particularly intricate setups also make my list: for one, Dougie, Lisa and Kevin as the "three ghosts" who say "We don't know" in Fad & Fashion and have a "slime spell" cast on them by Christine as the fairy godmother (mostly, I love this because of the way Lisa's ghost face sags and almost seems to evaporate under the weight of the slime...also because Christine and Les, both of whom were pretty good at keeping a straight face, both crack up at various points of this one; it looks like it was a lot of fun to make). Then there's Eugene Miyagawa's lone sliming, in a school hallway scene in Foreign Countries, when he gets into trouble by meticulously correcting Christine's pronunciation of the name of the new foreign exchange student, Ai Do Kno.

[CappieGuy]

I can't believe you forgot one slime scene where someone just gave up and said I dont know. Vanessa in Luck. She said "of course eegh eggh erghh I dont know" Her face is like screw it..slime me lol.

[ugotslimed]

I think of all the dungeon slimings as examples of the kids not being able to get around saying it. It seems if Nasti asks them the question and they don't know the answer they have to say that phrase. This also taps into another favorite type of sliming of mine, where the character is slimed AND some other horrible fate awaits them. A non dungeon example would be when Chrisitne still has to pay for her coat that she ruined when it was slimed-and the one where the showers are broken and all the kids have to stay slimed.
But in the dungeon this always worked because by not knowing the answer to the question-they got slimed AND lost perhaps their only chance at freedom. They'll be stuck in the dungeon for who knows how long -maybe forever-and probably be tortured-AND on top of that-they are covered in green slime. When they bow their heads in defeat in those scenes, the gloom of the scenario is perfect.
Another good "forced to say it" dungeon example is Vanessa in Technology -and -maybe except for the Jim slimings-the vanessa one is the best dungeon scene period . But when she says it there, cause the audience votes for her to, she is really sad and plays her desperation perfectly. Along with Nasti's "do you want a recount?" which perfectly caps off the scene. Also no scene better DESCRIBES how horrible a sliming is then that one -when he says "everyone wants to see little girls get the green slime GLOPPED all over 'em" and when he's imploring the audience with "do you want to see this little girl vannessa get the green slime glopped all over her!" great stuff.

[BBOvenGuy]

My favorite ones that I wrote were (in no particular order):

1) Vanessa in "Wildlife & Animals," largely because I had to come up with it on the fly when the original slime sketch for the episode bombed in read-through.
2) Doug in "Pessimism/Optimism," which I also had to come up with on the fly, after Doug passed out in the read-through and Brenda was worried we wouldn't have time for the complicated original slime sketch for the episode. Also because Doug gloops slime on Vanessa at the end, causing Vanessa to mouth "You bastard!" at him (which was cut, of course).
3) Alasdair in "Romance & Dating," because there was a technical glitch when we were shooting it, which necessitated throwing Alasdair in the shower fully clothed and then putting him back on the set for a retake.
4) Matthew's slime-water-pie at the end of "Know-It-Alls," which was originally written for Justin - at Justin's request!

And of course, (5) Alanis and Alasdair in "Music," because it's the only time Alanis ever got slimed and is therefore the only YCDTOTV bit you still have a chance of seeing on TV. I use it in every presentation I give about my books.

[ugotslimed]

That's right, and didn't Alanis use that very clip in one of her videos when she was flashing back at her life? Shouldn't you be getting some royalties for that? The funny thing is, I'll bet that scene is the most famous ycdtotv clip of all time and it was so uncharacteristic of the show. I mean Alanis got slimed ONE time and she wasn't even on the show for that long . But anybody who didn't watch the show probably thinks it was nothing but Alanis Morrisette running around getting slimed all the time! (although I wish she had been slimed more. Actually I wish the show could have been on longer so fellow Canadian Avril Lavigne could have been on it and gotten slimed. ) And as far as those other slimings go, I agree with the Doug one, cause as I've said before I love him saying "I'm doomed" it just makes the slime seem more dyer. I can't believe that line wasn't in the original script cause for me it makes the scene.

[dumas]

My favorite ones that I wrote were (in no particular order):

4) Matthew's slime-water-pie at the end of "Know-It-Alls," which was originally written for Justin - at Justin's request!

Justin Cammy was originally planned to be part of "Know-it-alls"?

Another slime favorite moment is Alastair who was slimed in the execution sketch when Capitano asked him a question, in a 1986 episode.

The 1982 "Heroes" episode got Lisa slimed when she was slimed by anwsering "I know" during an opposite sketch.

[CappieGuy]

Alasdair was slimed in 1985 not 86 and it was during Fears Worries Anxieties.

[mcguinnfan]

My favorite ones that I wrote were (in no particular order):

1) Vanessa in "Wildlife & Animals," largely because I had to come up with it on the fly when the original slime sketch for the episode bombed in read-through.
2) Doug in "Pessimism/Optimism," which I also had to come up with on the fly, after Doug passed out in the read-through and Brenda was worried we wouldn't have time for the complicated original slime sketch for the episode. Also because Doug gloops slime on Vanessa at the end, causing Vanessa to mouth "You bastard!" at him (which was cut, of course).
3) Alasdair in "Romance & Dating," because there was a technical glitch when we were shooting it, which necessitated throwing Alasdair in the shower fully clothed and then putting him back on the set for a retake.
4) Matthew's slime-water-pie at the end of "Know-It-Alls," which was originally written for Justin - at Justin's request!

And of course, (5) Alanis and Alasdair in "Music," because it's the only time Alanis ever got slimed and is therefore the only YCDTOTV bit you still have a chance of seeing on TV. I use it in every presentation I give about my books.

The Alanis sliming is another of my favorites, first of all. It's one of the only ones that actually strikes me as being surprising when I see it-something about the way the "I don't know" falls into the flow of conversation, as well as her reaction and her subsequent anger at Alasdair as he attempts to shield her and apologize. (That's one of my favorite episodes, actually; I love the musical instruments Ross passes out to their "band" at the end, the scene where Alasdair upsets the dinner table demonstrating his punk-rock "singing," and so many others.)

Secondly, you've left me wanting to read more about pretty much all of yours. Particularly about Dougie passing out (!) and the hasty efforts to hose Alasdair down.

In terms of off-color language, I have always thought that Stephanie looked like she was exclaiming "F***!" after she gets doused in the brilliant "underwater" segment of "First Times," but maybe that's just my eyes playing tricks on me. (It's probably how I would have reacted, too!)

[BBOvenGuy]

I've written elsewhere on this board about Alasdair in "Romance & Dating" and about Doug passing out in the read-through. And actually, Doug himself has come on the board and written about passing out in the read-through, too. You'll have to do some digging and find that again.

There were three basic versions of the "Know-It-Alls" episode. The first version was mine, and introduced a new Les Lye character as a "know-it-all" replacement for Ross. Roger didn't like that, so while the 1985 taping was going on, I spent three days in a room overhauling the episode with fellow writer Josh Morris and another guy named Richard Burton (brother of Rob Burton, Roger's business partner at the time), with Christine coming in to lend a hand from time to time when she was free. Matthew Godfrey wasn't in the cast yet, so we were going to have Justin be the "know-it-all." He was thrilled with the idea and said he wanted to be slimed, watered and pied in the episode. That was version #2, and then version #3 is the one you saw on the air.

[ChrisInMI]

McGuinnFan - That "Future World" scene is one of my favorites too. Especially when Moose screams "I DON'T KNOW!!!!!" after her sliming.

Did anyone else notice that Vanessa does actually say "I don't know" before her sliming in "Technology"? She says it very quietly and, again, with the "It's going to happen anyway, let's just get it over with" look on her face, after Nasti asks her, "Now Vanessa, tell me, what is the green slime made of?" after she "loses" the "vote." It's almost totally drowned out by the laugh track.

CappieGuy - Alasdair was slimed in several 1986 episodes as well as '85. I almost forgot about the slime scene you mentioned though... that was a good one. Partly because Alasdair still looked surprised when the slime hit him, even though when El Capitano asked him if he was more afraid of being shot or slimed, any viewer could have seen that coming a mile away. (Maybe his "character" never thought he'd actually be slimed at the firing squad? Although it had happened to Jonothan Gebert way back in 1981.)

Robert - you should be proud that you wrote the sketches that resulted in several of the all-time best slimings in YCDTOTV history (especially Doug's in Optimism/Pessimism). LOL! I also have to give props to the "Know-It-Alls" scene where Matthew Godfrey gets the Slapstick Trifecta, because he said, "There's nothing I don't know about this program" so casually and without expecting anything to happen that even the viewer is almost surprised, even though the viewer really could see it coming.

Robert, are you saying that this episode was originally planned for 1985, or was Justin originally planning on returning for the 1986 season but couldn't because of puberty taking its toll? (The only time Justin was slimed previously, in "Marketing," ranks among the WORST slimings in the show's history because of the way he flinched, as has been discussed here many times before.) I also wonder how much of a know-it-all Matthew was in real life. Kevin Ward filled that role nicely in 1989 and 1990, and even had his own "Know-It-Alls"-type slapstick moment in the "Fitness" episode.

[BBOvenGuy]

The first version of "Know-It-Alls," with the new Les Lye character, was originally written for 1985. The second version, with Justin as the know-it-all, was written while the 1985 taping was going on, so obviously we were expecting it to be part of the 1986 season. I went back to Nashville to finish school after that, so I don't know what happened with Justin and puberty.

Matthew didn't seem like that much of a know-it-all to me, but he and Amyas definitely got their dramatic streak from their mother. When I met her, she went into this melodramatic pose and said, "So you're the one who wrote all those horrible things about my son!"

[Tai]

BBOvenGuy: You mention Justin wanting to get slimed/pied/watered. Were there any cast members who actually looked forward to that stuff?